The Official Recap of the Watch The Throne Release Party At Liv

So um, yeah. If you’re reading this, you probably want to know what the hell happened at LIV last night for Kanye and Jay-Z’s Watch The Throne release party. Well we got you covered. Consider this your official recap courtesy of me. Oh and don’t be fooled, I was nowhere near LIV. Once I heard Kanye was most likely not gonna make it and stuck lampin’ in Europe, I stayed the fuck home and watched In The Flow With Affion Crocket on the internet. Which was hilarious by the way! Especially the Dave Chappelle skit.

So no I was not at LIV. I got all of my LIV updates just like er’body else – via Twitter and via text messages. So yeah, here’s what seems to have happened last night.

1. Lines started forming in front of LIV, inside the Fountainebleau lobby at like 3PM. Pictures started floating around garnishing tens of thousands of views of the growing crowds so early on. God help those people if they parked in the Fountainebleau’s valet. Pull out that checkbook if you went over 3 hours. And wow, they put in a 3PM to 5am shift to go clubbing at LIV. That’s 14 hours.

2. The door price was astronomical at 11PM and kept climbing I heard. The guys had to pay more, but the ladies weren’t far behind. If you averaged it out, it was a couple hundred dollars for general admission into a club on a Sunday in the middle of August. By the time you got in, you had no more money to buy drinks. Yep…dat shit cray. Some people got a pair of Made-In-China LIV Shutter Sunglasses though.

3. The tweets streaming on Twitter leading up to this party were epic. From the people warning groupies to get on their A-Game, to the folks who made it inside sounding like they just finished running a marathon. It was all comedy. I was there reading that shit while sipping on some hot green tea. Hilarity. *NOTE: I don’t drink green tea while reading the internet folks, just a joke.

4. The inside of LIV was how do I say….in my best Drew Barrymore voice….magical. As it always is. And how cute, there was a throne on stage. You know because its a Watch The Throne release party. Get it? Got it? Good.

5. Julia Beverly, Baller Allert, NecoleBitchie and Freshalina from Crunktastical were in the house reppin’. These ladies kept Twitter pleasantly entertained throughout the night, with Julia pointing out that rather than spending $25,000 on a nice mid-size vehicle, cats were spending that on a temporary table at LIV last night. Yep…dat shit cray.

6. No Heat players disgraced us by showing up. None of them were in the building. Thank the lawd.

7. The lovely bottle service waitresses can all pretty much retire after all that money they made last night. Combine their winnings with what they made off Mark Cuban’s expenditure at LIV two months ago – and they are set foe’ life.

8. Speaking of outdoing Mark Cuban, Jay-Z showed up presidential style. Steve Stoute was part of the posse. And yes, they eventually broke Mark Cuban’s record and spent $250,000 on tons of Ace Of Spades, including one of those infamous 15L bottles. And thus, when it came out in the bottle casket, a million twitpics hit Twitter and we were all satisfied. Smh. America, what happened to us? Srsly.

9. Kanye never had any intentions of coming to LIV. He was in Sweden fresh off a performance with Prince. So he was a no-show apparently because his flight got canceled due to bad weather. Nah. We all know Ye’ would much rather have stayed in Sweden with a couple white gul’s by his side and let The Artist Formely Known As Prince make him some pancakes for breakfast. Pancakes. [twitpic]

10. Ne-Yo showed up though, as well as Flo-Rida and Fat Joe apparently. Also in the mix was Puff Daddy’s (I refuse to call him Diddy) baby momma Kim Porter. And tons of industry folk.

11. Jay-Z posed for like one photo, next to Mike Gardner and WWWes. Other than that, you woulda’ had your head cracked with a Ace Of Spades bottle if you even attempted to take a photo of Jay-Z.

12. On a positive note, DJ Clue, Stevie J and Don P held it down on the music tip for the entire night.

13. When it was time for the birthday boy Jay-Z to get on the mic, Jay did a Rick Ross grunt (*ungh*) on the mic, and Meek Mill quickly interrupted him, took the mic and started to perform. You know, because a Meek Mill performance of “I’m A Boss” at a Watch The Throne release party totally makes sense. *NOTE: Due to the person that commented below, I should note that this was a joke. Meek Mill didn’t snatch the mic..at all. He came through like a boss and performed on the booth and livened up the crowd like he has been since hitting up the Miami club circuit the last couple months. Nothing more nothing less. Its just a joke people.*

14. 8am Monday morning, LIV managers and security took all that money they made last night and deposited it to their bank account. Laughing all the way to Le Bank.

Le End. Watch The Throne available on iTunes and retail stores everywhere…